Soaked

I knew when I fell in love. One minute friendly and laughing and the next something more, something grand and overwhelming. I remember once driving down the highway and driving beneath an overpass. As I drove under it was clear and when I emerged out the other side it was a deluge of rain. It happened in moments. One second dry and next soaked. Love is like that.

I remember being so utterly baffled by the surge of emotions, chemicals and sensations that rioted around my body that I could hardly breath or think. Seems like I lost my footing. Now anytime you kiss me long or whisper something tantalizing in my ear I am lost all over again. I hate that power you have over me, and I surrender to it every time.

Familiar and Still New

I know you are tired. I know that you have just enough energy to watch TV and wind down. Yet, when I see you draped across the couch looking ever so much like an all you can eat buffet, it is difficult for me to leave you alone.

I can walk by and glance at you, so cuddly and relaxed, maybe twice before I need to devour you. I gesture my intention to you with my insistent knee, gently prying apart your legs to let me nestle between them and match you limb for limb along the length of your lanky body.

You are always warmer than me. It's like embracing sunshine in my arms. I love heat of you, the pulsing energy and sinew of you. I duck my head under your T- shirt and let it tent over to hide the little torments I will indulge myself in on your chest.

My senses sing full of you as I am tickled by your chest hair. I greet each puckered tan nipple by capturing it with the pressure of my lips. This ancient rhythm I play out on you is familiar and still new to me. 

The Ear

You held me captive with your lips. Warm soft cupping kisses against the shell of my helpless earlobe, I tremble under the sweet punishment. Each exhale a crashing wave on the endless sand. Each flick of your tongue sending lightening charges along my spine.

Every tender assault on my ear leaves me shuddering in anticipation. You slay me. I am conquered. I become the twinkling stars and yielding moon of your expansive night. Points of light the pin pricks of pleasure you pierce from me.

My Silent Patient Sentinel

There are places in the memory of my life that are so sad, so full of pain and loss that I cannot bare to look into their darkness. They are there, those voids that punctuate my self knowledge. Occasionally they force themselves to be reckoned with. A song will bring them, A fragrance or a chill in the air.

Suddenly I am in the past and it is as visceral and real in it's wounding as if it just happened. When I understood that my first husband hated me. When my lover died of cancer. Every time I had to watch my son get on a plane. Even the memory of it stings afresh. I can leave it in the dusty unvisited places of my mind but they come to me like ghosts still.

That vulnerable, broken part of who I am is a terrible place for me. Those hurtful memories are my kryptonite. I could still be that crushed soul. I could still be afraid of life if I didn't have your love.

Your tender kindness rescued me from my personal despair. You were my lifeline when I sobbed even while I slept, you just watching me, just there. You my silent patient sentinel of my pain.I didn't love you then the way I do now. I couldn't with that abused and broken heart.

Thank you.

Thank you for encompassing me with your love when I had none worth giving. Thank you for forgetting my insecurity and only recalling my strengths. Thank you for carrying me when I couldn't or didn't want to go on. Thank you for letting my love have a reason; for letting what I had to give you be, not only enough but what you wanted.

Your devotion to me has inspired me to a passion for you I never thought possible. You made me feel I was worth the wait.